Many of you might wonder why I am the way I am. I don’t have an answer. I will say that it could be due to the fact that I have strange dreams that wake me up at 5 in the morning.
Last night’s dream taught me how to survive a Zombie Apocalypse. Very useful. Read on.
So, Ben and I made a journey to Kansas. The perfect setting for such a thing to happen. When we got there, the house was sitting tilted sideways on the ground. You might be thinking…”You basically dreamed you were in the Wizard of Oz.” No. Though I did turn to Ben and say “We’re not in Tennessee anymore Bennie…”
I digress. So we’re in this sideways tilted house of a thing and there are no other humans around. I was weirded out but Ben was all gung-ho to investigate, of course. All of the sudden, we were on the moon. What the? Yeah, I don’t know. And then, ZOMBIES! CRAWLING ALL OVER!!
The first thing you should know is that average Moon Zombies cannot survive on our planet because they do not breathe oxygen.
*Note: Moon Zombies don’t breathe oxygen!*
So I guess that means we’re back in Kansas because the moon doesn’t have oxygen but that is beside the point. The point is that all around Ben and I, zombies were dropping like flies!
I thought we were in the clear. Ben, however, was not as sure as I was and we were creeping all over the house searching for more Zombies.
Did you ever hear that saying “Don’t go looking for things you don’t want to find”? Well, yeah, that saying is true. We found more zombies. This time, however, they were not Moon Zombies. They were genetically enhanced zombies. They didn’t die no matter what you did.
I’m standing behind Ben about to hurl because I’m so scared. All of the sudden all the zombies in the house turn towards Ben! “NOOO!” I screamed as they came towards us!
Luckily, Ben had apparently gone through training in how to defeat zombies if you were suddenly attacked and he whips out an asteroid gun.
Quick thinking, Ben, quick thinking.
He began blasting zombies apart, one right after another. It was nasty, there were blue-green guts all over the wallpaper.
*Note: TO kill genetically enhanced zombies, use an asteroid gun, it’s the only way and could very well save your life.*
Now ladies, I know what you’re thinking…You wish you could have a boyfriend like mine that could save you in the case of a Zombie Apocalypse…
Well, HANDS OFF! HE’S MINE!
THE END (I know this ends suddenly but I had to wake myself up because I was so scared. I’m a pansy.)
This is just one of many strange dreams I’ve had. My psychological state is in disarray.
